Do you find it hard to follow the instructions of your business mentor?
Do you see the sense of what she is saying and really want to get your business up and growing, but there is some kind of block?
I would preface that question by asking you this:
Do you have another job?
Are you currently still employed?
Do you acknowledge that being a mother is another job?
The thing is:
Sometimes we choose a mentor because we love her success. She is doing so well and she tells us that she is going to help us succeed using the tools and methods that she used to grow her business.
Now let me ask you another question:
Did your mentor have another job or children in her care while she established her business?
If your mentor is not a mum, or she did not establish her business as a side hustle
If you are trying to establish your business while you have a job or are parenting
I WANT TO YOU STOP RIGHT NOW
SEND YOURSELF SOME LOVE
I think it’s great to have a mentor that inspires you and whose ideas really resonate with you. Someone who is really aligned on a values level with you – so you don’t have to compromise your integrity.
I know from my own experience, that certain mentors advice can become either:
Un-aligned from my personal values
Unachievable for me to exactly replicate due to my responsibilities.
For instance, my current mentor, George Kao, works 40 hours a week and has no kids.
So, when I see his calendar, his content output and his success, I set my levels at exactly half of his at the most.
Because I have 20 hours a week while my kids are at school.
Plus, the emotional intensity and unexpected requirements of parenting impact on my business and my ability to be available to work.
That’s the whole reason I wanted to be in business.
For me, being a parent is more of a priority than my business.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being in business and I love what I do, but obviously, if I have to choose between my kids and my clients, that my family is going to trump the biz.
And the other beauty of being a parent is: I don’t have to worry about whether or not I am living on purpose! My purpose wakes me up every morning with a cuddle.
So being “purpose driven” in my business has been harder for me to clarify, because my main purpose is the family, and having a business that is values aligned, that allows me flexibility to fulfill my parenting responsibilities and generates a bit of revenue is actually enough business clarity for me.
I don’t need to go down some values investigation purpose reflection exercises. When I have in the past, I just felt weird and confused.
This whole rant started for me because I saw a social media post where someone had suggested something along the lines of:
If you are procrastinating, go and do something of service to others.
I felt really defensive and ticked off when I read this.
I personally feel that if I am procrastinating – maybe I need a break. Maybe I need some sensual self care. Maybe I need a cup of tea in the sun or a lay down.
I’m usually serving others all night (my kids are still in my bed nearly every night). I’m serving others from the minute I wake up to the minute they go to sleep. And my business hours are my precious creative time to serve the world at large in a sustainable and self-nourishing way.
I am not into hustle.
And I do a lot already!
So back off sister.
And if you are a mum, or if you are growing your business on the side of a job: maybe you just need a day off. On the beach, or the forest, with your journal. Just laying in the warm rays of the sun. Daydreaming.
It’s ok if you are “behind” but what really is “behind”?
Please don’t compare yourself to others who aren’t in the same boat as you.
For sure, take advice and inspiration from them. Just don’t think you are going to have the same process as them.
What has helped me the most is George Kao’s business levels (which you can learn about in this course). AND his recommendation that growing a business from nothing will take 1-5 years if you are working 40h a week.
So by default, if you are working 5 hours a week in your business. It is just going to take a bit longer.
But you will get there.
Your work IS important and your time is coming.
Let’s do this – gently.
I acknowledge the Djiringanj people of the Yuin Nation, the custodians of this beautiful land on which I live and work.
I also pays respect to all Elders past & present.
Thank you for taking such good care of the wild, beautiful places of Araganu, the coastline and forests where I get nurtured.