Why I’m never busy

Why I’m never busy

“How are you?”
“I’m so busy”

This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all.

If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to reconsider and to take responsibility. Instead I say: “I’m fully engaged with my life” or “I have a lot on” or something like that.

If you like to say you’re busy please go ahead. I don’t judge you. I just know that when I was saying “I’m busy” it was a number of things. It was a badge of martyrdom. It was an abdication of my responsibility. It was a cop out and it was an excuse.

It felt good to say I was busy. It was me, as a mother, putting myself last. I was making excuses for why I couldn’t put my self care and wellbeing first in my life

It felt good to say I was busy. It was me, as a mother, putting myself last. I was making excuses for why I couldn’t put my self care and wellbeing first in my life and the problem with that is: no-one else in the world is going to put me first. They might be playing the same mothering game as me and failing to put themselves first, but they certainly aren’t going to put me first. I needed to do that.

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For me, the ability to change my relationship with busy-ness took a number of years and some tough challenges

My health declined and I simply couldn’t be busy. Plus, being busy was making me sick. I was anemic with HMB and I needed to learn a new way of being. Stress and overwork were making my condition worse and after a bout in hospital I finally committed to a new direction.

I had to learn to see the mindsets and beliefs that were keeping me stuck. I had to remind myself again and again that I am the boss and I get to make the rules. I had to release a lot of my employee mindset hangovers and step into a new paradigm aside from capitalism’s demands to do, do, do for more, more, more. I had to decide what I personally want from my life and business and redefine my goals. 

I worked with Bear Herbert on her course called Freely. It helped me to claim and define what I really need and how much I need to charge to achieve that. It aligned with my values and I changed my hourly rate easily. 

I had to ask a lot of questions. Do I really want a 6 or 7 figure business? What do I want my days to look like? What are my priorities? What are my interests and who decides how much I should do? Should I let my imagination decide what other people think I should do or should I honour my body, intuition and health indicators. It’s really helped me sit deeper into being and to release the incessant desire for more, to do more, to have more. To simply be is one of the most challenging things for me and when I can tap into it there is such peace. 

I had to get good at saying no and taking the time to discern where my energy was best spent.

I realised that I couldn’t blame my partner, his family, my family or society. I learned that even if they do think those things about me, I needed to leave those opinions and judgements with them to save my life. I had to get good at saying no and taking the time to discern where my energy was best spent. In reality that looks like a lot of mistakes, a lot of over-doing it migraines and a lot of days in bed. It has taken dozens of reiterations of my calendar and it’s something I’m still working on every week and every day. 

Ultimately I see that I need to continue to take responsibility. It’s my responsibility to take care of my wellbeing. I and only I am responsible for the hours I work and how I work. It’s entirely up to me to structure my days and commitments so that I can have the life I want. 

It’s super satisfying and it’s also very uncomfortable but when I think about being an employee I’m just not sure how I would go. I feel like I’ve learned a lot of lessons and I’m in a completely different field to a lot of people, particularly people who don’t have a business.  The level of uncertainty in business sits closely with the truth of the uncertainty of life itself and being an employee helps us forget that. It lulls us into a false sense of security with weekly payment but the truth of the uncertainty if life remains. That is a pretty scary truth for most of us. 

I’ve had to learn to emotionally regulate myself when I’m in stressful situations instead of disassociating. I’m still learning that one. I am still learning how much time I need in nature and how much I need quiet. From my perspective it’s all a big experiment and I’m still playing the game. I’ve had to grow the **** up and stop being a baby child who expects the parents/teachers/doctors/government/whoever to fix it all for me and take absolute responsibility for my life. 

We all have a choice. We all chose to be where we currently are whether we realise or not. I choose how I relate to my life circumstances and I find that very satisfying. I practice being satisfied. Satisfied with what I have. I take time to notice all that I have. I feel very lucky and grateful. And I’m never busy. 

“I pay my respects and acknowledge the people of the Yuin Nation, traditional custodians of the land on which I live and work. I also pay respect to all Elders — past, present and future.”

Read more from the blog.

Why I’m never busy

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“How are you?”“I’m so busy” This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all. If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to...

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How to make REAL change to the oppressive system – interview with Louise O Reilly

How to make REAL change to the oppressive system – interview with Louise O Reilly

Whhoooooaaaaaa this chat is really only for the brave hearted.

Business woman: You are already part of the solution!

We took the red pill…

I’ve never had so many goosebumps during an interview as I did during this chat with Louise O’Reilly – a Warrwa-Noongar Aboriginal woman who focuses on cultural inclusion, diversity and anti-racism work for entrepreneurs.

We covered a lot of things in the spirit of: how can you deliver inclusive marketing in your business?

This video interview comes from my heart to yours with all my love and compassion. 

WATCH THE VIDEO

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

More from Louise

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/LouiseOReilly.TheShieldAndTheConch 

TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@louise_oreilly 

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/louise.oreilly.shieldandconch/ 

Website – www.LouiseOReilly.com.au 

About Louise

The oppressive status quo is something Louise refuses to swallow. This mumma-bear won’t stop until she’s changed the world for her babies. With her unique self-expression, heart-centred rebelliousness, and clarity of her vision of the inclusive world we could be enjoying. It’s no wonder Louise is an inclusion & diversity coach, mentor and course creator for heart-centered & socially-conscious entrepreneurs.

Louise is a Warrwa-Noongar Aboriginal woman who focuses on cultural inclusion, diversity and anti-racism work for entrepreneurs. Offering the Inclusion Creators Collective membership. It’s filled with courses, live trainings, group coaching and more. Louise also offers limited 1:1 coaching services and her dream is the co-creation of a more inclusive world through social innovation. Where everyone feels free and safe to be themselves. Her drive is her children.

Her cheer-squad is her husband and her inspiration is her inner-calling. Louise’s coaching is gentle, inclusive, and compassionate. LouiseOReilly.com.au is where you’ll find her blogs, free trainings, videos, podcasts, and services. Outside of business, Louise was freelance writing for Amnesty International Australia, radio hosting on Noongar Radio, and a Miss NAIDOC Perth finalist.

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Interview with Amy Madden – RAS and emotional regulation

Interview with Amy Madden – RAS and emotional regulation

I had this great chat with Amy Madden firstly because she helped me understand the RAS and how it sometimes shows us only negative experiences and how that can confirm unwanted beliefs and how to make it work for you to achieve your goals. 

We also chatted about emotional regulation strategies and you might like to add some of them to your toolbox…let me know 🙂 

Watch the Video

Listen on the Podcast

More from Amy

Amy Madden
Counsellor Coach

I have spent twenty years working with women on various issues from meeting inner critics to the Justice system and sexual violence.

What I’ve learned is that the more stories I hear, the more I realise how much there is yet to learn. I am equally humbled by the knowledge that in my experience, women ALWAYS know what they need… its just a buried spark waiting to be uncovered again.

 

I am heavily influenced by Brene Browns shame and vulnerability work.

I love somatic processing understandings and that the body stores clues and information that helps us if only we can listen.

I am a fan of the magic of coaching questioning process that help to build clarity and accountability.

I just adore the stories of women
I haven’t heard one yet that wasn’t worth telling.

Here’s Amy’s website https://coachamy.com.au/ 

and you might like to follow her on Instagram where she does regular and fun helpful videos https://www.instagram.com/helloamymadden/ 

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Why I’m never busy

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“How are you?”“I’m so busy” This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all. If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to...

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How to use your energy for change when change is challenging

How to use your energy for change when change is challenging

I know how challenging it is to grow your business.

The thing is: you can make it easier or harder for yourself. 

What are you willing to do?

What do you want?

What do you like?

The magic trick is to give these things your energy instead of the opposite.

You can do this!

WATCH THE VIDEO

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

“I pay my respects and acknowledge the people of the Yuin Nation, traditional custodians of the land on which I live and work. I also pay respect to all Elders — past, present and future.”

Read more from the blog.

Why I’m never busy

Why I’m never busy

“How are you?”“I’m so busy” This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all. If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to...

Are You Creative?

Are You Creative?

Are you creative?  I pose this question to you for reflection. I have my own opinion about it.  If you are alive you are creative.  If you are in business you are creative. The old paradigm of our society tells us that creative people make art and then that art gets...

What are Australian Bush Flower Essences?

What are Australian Bush Flower Essences?

Plants as medicine

Humans have always used plants for food and medicine. Over time, experiments were conducted, plants were eaten and various outcomes were observed. This knowledge was handed down from person to person over generations and the lineage of plant healing evolved. 

Plants can also be used for spiritual evolution and transformation. To receive these desired effects from plants humans have interacted with plants in many different ways. Eating plants is one way to receive the medicinal benefits or the healing & transformation benefits. Poultices and external application of plants to the body is another way to receive the benefits of plants. Essential oils is another.

Simply having the plants growing nearby is another way to imbibe the healing, transformational powers of plants. This is the basis of how bush flower essences work.

Many physical ailments have their basis in emotional, psychological or spiritual issues on a deeper level. We are more than just our bodies. Flower essences can address healing and transformation on these other , varied levels of experience beyond the body. 

What is a flower essence?

When a flower opens and the cycle of the sun passes through a day the flower releases its essence into the air through evaporating essential oils as well as the plant’s spiritual energy frequency. A flower essence is an extraction of that energetic, vibrational quality of the flower.

All things are made of matter and also energy. The energy of any object is not visible to all eyes. It can be perceived or felt. It can also be collected and that is how a flower essence is created. 

How an essence is created

An essence is created by placing flowers in a bowl of water for the course of a day. The flowers can either be cut from the plant or the entire branch of a plant can be immersed in the water as the sun moves from sunrise, through the day and into night. This water is then drained of plant material and stored with brandy as a preservative to ensure its longevity. 

This is called the mother essence and gets diluted many times to create the essence that you might choose to take. The healing power of plants have physical aspects to them such as oils and fibrous plant matter. The beauty of using essences is that the essence is collected on an energetic level. 

The energetic vibration of the plant is stored in the mother essence and in the preserved mother and cannot be diminished by dilution. 

Even so the essence that you consume is still only one or two dilutions from the original mother essence.

Anyone can make a flower essence but the challenge is to interpret the healing benefits of any particular flower essence. 

Flower essences in general

Flower essences have been used extensively across many cultures including here in Australia by our first nations people. 

In Western, contemporary alternative medicine, flower essences were brought to popularity by Dr Edward Bach who developed Bach Flower essences. 

Australian Bush Flower Essences

Australian Bush Flower Essences have been developed by Ian White, a fifth generation Australian herbalist. He grew up with his grandmother nearby who was a herbalist. He would walk extensively with her in the Sydney bush and loved to immerse in the native plant life with her. He also spent time with her as she made her herbal extracts and tinctures. His grandmother and great-grandmother were some of the earliest white people to research and use Australian native plants for healing. 

Ian’s  relationship with Australian plants for healing developed over time through his own healing process as a young person. He initially trained as a naturopath and had a fascinating journey to develop the essences through meditation, reflection and his spirit guides.

The Australian flower essences were developed in the modern era. They were shared with us at this time to address the specific needs arising for humans today. These needs are more than just physical ailments and include the psychological, spiritual and emotional states that we find challenging right now.

As the Australian Bush Flower essences have been introduced to the global community of healers and medicine people, some distinct differences between the Australian and other plant essences have been noticed. 

One thing that is often noticed is the speed, depth and power of Australian plants and flowers compared with flowers from other countries. 

Many people who live in Australia are aware of the power of the land. The spiritual quality of the land is a significant part of the indigenous culture and easily perceived by indigenous and non-indigenous Australians alike. 

Not only do we love our country but we feel a profound, deep and moving connection with her. 

Safety

Flower essences can be used safely by people of all ages including babies, children and the elderly. They have no negative side effects and can also be used on pets.

More about Australian Bush Flower Essences

To learn more about Australian Bush Flower essences and the founder Ian White I encourage you to read “Australian Bush Flower Essences” by Ian White. He shares many enlightening stories about his personal life and the details of creating flower essence for you to dive into if you feel called. 

You can find that at the Australian Bush Flower Essence website HERE

“I pay my respects and acknowledge the people of the Yuin Nation, traditional custodians of the land on which I live and work. I also pay respect to all Elders — past, present and future.”

Read more from the blog.

Why I’m never busy

Why I’m never busy

“How are you?”“I’m so busy” This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all. If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to...

Are You Creative?

Are You Creative?

Are you creative?  I pose this question to you for reflection. I have my own opinion about it.  If you are alive you are creative.  If you are in business you are creative. The old paradigm of our society tells us that creative people make art and then that art gets...

How to be magnetic and attract your ideal clients

How to be magnetic and attract your ideal clients

When you are sharing information about your offers, creating social media posts, sending emails and trying to grow your business, it is best to stay out of the grasping, clinging energy field.

Here is my tip for the best way to attract and magnetise your ideal clients.

Tell me what you think!

WATCH THE VIDEO

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

“I pay my respects and acknowledge the people of the Yuin Nation, traditional custodians of the land on which I live and work. I also pay respect to all Elders — past, present and future.”

Read more from the blog.

Why I’m never busy

Why I’m never busy

“How are you?”“I’m so busy” This is the most common line I hear in conversation especially with business people and mums. It’s definitely a thing I used to say a lot and now I try not to say it at all. If I feel like I am about to say “I’m busy” I take a moment to...

Are You Creative?

Are You Creative?

Are you creative?  I pose this question to you for reflection. I have my own opinion about it.  If you are alive you are creative.  If you are in business you are creative. The old paradigm of our society tells us that creative people make art and then that art gets...