Today started with a lot of hard feelings.
Actually, this dread and worry has been slowly creeping in for a few weeks.
Today just feels like the peak of it triggered by a few things.
My course did not make enough sales to go live today as planned.
Money hasn’t just fallen in my lap since I started my abundance manifesting two days ago.
The bank balance hasn’t changed since the last time I looked.
I’ve just become aware that I don’t have enough income generating days allocated in my calendar.
I’ve got that horrible feeling of dread in my guts and I can’t seem to shake it.
I’ve heard all of this before…
Inner dialogue like:
My audience is too small
My ads aren’t reaching the right cool audience
My offers just aren’t selling
Why aren’t people dying to work with me? I’m pretty sure I’m awesome…
When is the magical money going to land in my bank account and fix all of my problems???
For a change, this time I didn’t apply for 3 jobs.
I’m about to do some gratitude practice to shift my awareness and energetic focus because I’m aware that staying too long in a loop of:
> Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down > Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down >
is not the best way to leave my bed this morning.
Gratitude practice though….urghhh
What? Why?
Is that just another load of baloney and another have-to??
I’m about to do some gratitude practice to shift my awareness and energetic focus because I’m aware that staying too long in a loop of:
> Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down > Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down Worry > Struggling to find solutions > Getting more weighed down >
is not the best way to leave my bed this morning.
Gratitude practice though….urghhh
What? Why?
I’ve been trying to make peace with gratitude practice this week by actually doing some.
What I notice is I can trigger good feelings inside myself by thinking of my favorite things and noticing the beauty in the present moment.
The blue sky
The birds chirping outside my window
The grevillea I get to see from my bed
They remind me about my other love: wild nature.
I want to go. I want a day off to be in the wilderness.
But when working MORE to make MORE money seems to my brain to be what’s needed, taking a day off seems crazy.
What I DO know from experience is that swimming in the big sea charges up my battery.
I also know that these feelings and these periods in business just come and go.
Maybe a day off won’t change it.
Maybe grinding harder won’t change it.
But it will definitely CHANGE even if I just show up at the desk and do what’s on the calendar for today.
Maybe I’ll do it from that cafe across the road from the beach so I can squeeze in a little dip in the big blue.
What I end up doing for now is getting back to my gratitude practice, going for a walk with a friend, having a big cry, and then just showing up at the desk and doing what’s in my calendar.
