Hello, today I’m going to be talking about a dualistic thinking and how it effects our happiness in business.
Dualistic thinking is the win/lose mindset that we can get into where we are thinking in extremes of good or bad outcomes. This applies in business and all aspects of our lives.
To help explain this concept I will be using examples from my own personal experiences then talking about how we can apply these ideas in our business.
Throughout all aspects of our lives it is easy to fall into the habit of thinking in contrasting extremes of positive and negative, especially in our businesses. Telling yourself ‘if I stay in business, it’s a win and if I get a job, then I have lost’. ‘If I fill up all the spots on a course I am running, it’s a win and if I don’t, I have lost’.
I am hoping you are already noticing how this way of thinking is not a beneficial mindset to have when approaching business. It is however very easy to slip into and the large majority does struggle with dualistic thinking.
A personal experience of mine has caused me to think about this issue a great deal.
Recently I have been dealing with lots of health issues. I am currently going through perimenopause, this means I have extremely heavy bleeding, I am also anemic.
This has become quite a serious situation, last September, I was in hospital, and had two blood transfusions and an iron infusion. I’ve had multiple iron infusions before that, but after being blood tested more recently I was told to go straight to the hospital.
However this has not all been tragic. The last few years have been very empowering for me, becoming more educated about my body’s needs has caused me to have a deeper, more personal understanding of my health.
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My current challenge in this situation is dualistic thinking. For me, if I get my period all the, it feels like a loss, like it is like a failure. Whenever I am. not bleeding I am winning. If my period is extremely heavy it feels like i’ve lost and if it is light it feels like I have won.
There was a dilemma for me at one point where the medical system was offering me a Mirena, which is an IUD that slowly releases progesterone directly into your womb. Because it’s targeted physically, the proposition is that the progesterone won’t affect your mood and other body parts as intensely as it would if you took progesterone orally or in other ways.
My whole life has been focused on having a natural process as much as possible. This is another dualistic thinking setup that I’ve created for myself, because I do take Ventolin, I have been using the medical system and having iron infusions.
In my ideal world I would love to live in a tribe with a natural medicine woman or man who would help me with plants and herbs when I’m unwell. So for me, getting a Mirena IUD would feel like a lose, and staying off hormones is a win.
All of these dualistic mindsets that I’ve created for myself, have just given me pain, mental pain, emotional pain, which probably contributes to physical pain on an energetic level.
I am learning and I’m sure we are all learning to try to release dualistic thinking.
Another thing that comes up for me is using mental frames, the way that we frame anything to ourselves. The story that we tell ourselves is very powerful and in my opinion is more important than the actual circumstances.
The story that we tell ourselves, cuts us emotionally and it also becomes true, it becomes real because we’re ultimately quite magical. What we say to ourselves and what we believe has more power than the actual circumstance itself.
For instance, if I say to myself, ‘I am bleeding this out for my bloodline for my ancestral lineage. If I don’t take the pill and I don’t mess up my hormones, I am bleeding it out for the rest of the women in my ancestral lineage.’
My mother and my daughter are both on the pill and have had the Mirena and things. This of course is perfectly fine, everybody has their own journey and experience. Because they have not chosen to endure the discomfort, intrusion, annoyance and physical pain of heavy periods I am going to bleed it out and I’m going to heal all my lineage.
That is the story I’ve been telling myself to get through, because it’s really hard. A huge part of me would love to get a Mirena and be done with it, not have to think about it and have the ability to be active instead of being tired.
I am using the process to try to get healthy, be good to myself, nurture myself and put myself first. These are all the stories that I’m telling myself about why it’s a good idea. So there are two things going on there, dualistic thinking.
That leads into the stories that we tell ourselves, because if you are telling yourself that you are failing by getting a job, that if you don’t get X number of clients, you’re failing. If you get a VIP client, if you get X number of signups, if you get X number of free chats that convert to X number of VIPs, that’s winning, and getting a job is losing. Actually, that is because you’re a supreme cosmic being and you’re amazing and everything you do is perfect.
Actually, nothing that happens to you is bad, or good or right or wrong. You are divine, and your experience is divine. And it’s exactly what you’re meant to experience but to get through it, we tell ourselves all kinds of stories.
My big takeaways are, can you notice where you are having dualistic thinking in your life? Is this the cause of pain? Is there a way that you can reduce the dualistic thinking and create new positive stories, like a frame that you look through to see the world, a story that you tell yourself?
How can you use these tools to make more conscious choices that empower you and just to be okay, in your business?
It is really hard to be in business and it takes so long to get out of the employee mindset. It’s a really strong paradigm that we have in our culture, that we are the employee and there’s an employee that tells us what to do. We are business person, and we have a mentor who tells us what to do. It takes a long time to get really empowered in our health, where we don’t just defer to a doctor or naturopath, we get fully informed and we make choices.
I hope that anything I’ve said today is of any help to you in any way. I’m sending all my love to you. I hope that your business grows as you would like that your heart expands and you can experience infinite love and joy in your day and I look forward to seeing you soon.
“I pay my respects and acknowledge the people of the Yuin Nation, traditional custodians of the land on which I live and work. I also pay respect to all Elders — past, present and future.”
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